Taking a leap of faith

Introducing.....ME! This is a blog about things I know best, and things that are still a work in progress. It's another check off my bucket list. It's cathartic, therapeutic, and thought-provoking. Hopefully, it will be a source of laughter, empathy, and familiarity to those of you who will read it. Sometimes my posts will be funny, sometimes serious, and probably more often than not, they will be a mixture of both. It will NOT contain politics, religion, or any other topic that would disparage, judge, or demean anyone. This is meant to be my creative outlet, not my soapbox, and ultimately is an exercise in my own self-confidence - after all, I'm putting my thoughts out there for all the world's opinion!

First of all, a little about me: I'm an only daughter, mother to one, grandmother to three, wife to none (although I do have a boyfriend of 2 years whom I adore!). Single, 47 but feel more like 25, and just like everyone else, trying to find my way in this carousel we call life. About a year ago I took up scuba diving, which will no doubt leave me with lots of blogging material, since that in itself was a leap of faith to overcome fear!

Two years ago, I left everything that was familiar to me and moved to a new job and new city, in hopes that somewhere along that journey I'd find myself in the process. So far, so good.....it is definitely a process, though! It's a move that I'd been thinking of making for a long time before I took any action, and as my Mother used to say "all good things come in their own time". It's a move that I will never regret, but would definitely have regretted NOT making.

So I'll start out the first entry with my word of the day:

ALONE

At first glance, how many of us look at that word with fear? Too many of us. Alone doesn't mean lonely....in some cases, alone can be good or it can be bad, but it is always necessary to our well-being. Being alone recharges our batteries, helps us to rest, and in the ideal situation, helps bring us closer to realizing our own wants and needs from life.

I first started thinking about that word a few days ago, when a health concern has prompted me to step back and reevaluate my current situation. I have a great part time job, but no health insurance. The part time job should have turned into full time by now, but has not so I'm looking for alternate ways to supplement my income either with another part time job, or by finding a different full time job with benefits. For the record, I LOVE my job now, but part time with no benefits can only sustain a girl with a shoe and purse habit for so long!

So what happens to a single girl who gets sick, with an elderly mother, a daughter with three children of her own, and a best friend who lives three hours away? Who do I rely on, when I've always been guardian and protector of the family and everyone else has always relied on ME? In that context, ALONE is very scary, and has cost me more than one sleepless night. I'm not talking about lie-on-the-couch-and-whine-for-soup sick, we've all been there. I'm talking about being ill and needing someone familiar to be a comfort on a daily basis. Ooh, NEED...now that's a scary word as well! And probably another blog topic somewhere down the line, knowing me!

I still haven't figured out the solution, and hope I never will need to find one. But in the meantime, it's given me yet a different path of thought to be taken on my journey toward self-discovery.